4 and 6-year-old call 19-year-old bio brother 'uncle' because he was raised by grandparents and not mom, she freaks out and demands they call him 'brother'

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Aug 22, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Nomenclature only goes so far. There's a lot of meaning in real life dynamics, and sometimes we forget that words or titles are just that - words or titles. The protagonist is a 19 year old whose bio mom had him when she was 20. She didn't want to give up her future for her child, so she had her parents raise him. Now that it's been almost another 20 years, she has more kids of her own who she wants to raise. They call him uncle instead of brother, due to their dynamic.

It makes sense that he would be comfortable being called 'uncle' instead of brother. Essentially, his role in their life and in the family is more suited for that title. It begs the question, why is the mom so fixated on her children calling him brother instead of uncle? When I was growing up I had a 'brother' who wasn't really my brother. I had an 'aunt' who wasn't really my aunt also. 

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  • 01

    AITA for encouraging my bio mother's kids to keep calling me uncle?

    Brother and sister children
    via blueorangestudio / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (19m) was raised by my maternal grandparents. My bio mother had me at 20 and she didn't want to sacrifice her life to
    via u/Greggruzzee

  • Why would the mom in the story mind her children calling him uncle? For all intents and purposes, he's essentially their uncle and not their brother. He wasn't raised by her, and they grew up with the dynamic that's more akin to siblings. 

  • 03
    raise me so she asked her parents if they would do it and she could be my sister. And that's always how she presented herself to me
    via u/Greggruzzee
  • 04
    when we saw each other, as my sister. I knew she was my bio mother and she knew that I knew.
    via u/Greggruzzee
  • 05
    But she didn't want me to call her mom or look at her as a mom.
    via u/Greggruzzee
  • 06
    For the first 8 years of my life I saw her pretty frequently and then I started seeing her less and less because she moved away.
    via u/Greggruzzee
  • 07
    She got married when I was maybe 12 and she has two kids with her husband now who are 6 and 4.
    via u/Greggruzzee
  • 08
    They moved closer to us last year and I met her kids for the first time. They called me uncle and I was happy with that. But then my
    via u/Greggruzzee
  • 09
    bio mother wasn't happy I was uncle and not brother. We fought about it 7 times since then and each time she's like well you're not their uncle you're their
    via u/Greggruzzee
  • 10
    brother and I told her I was more her brother than theirs and I wasn't claiming her as a mom or parent so she'd have to get over
    via u/Greggruzzee
  • 11
    Symbol of family
    via hidesy from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    herself. I said she was being weird because she was always clear on us not being mother/son but brother/sister and that naturally makes me their uncle.
    via u/Greggruzzee
  • 13
    Their dad encourages them to do what feels right while my bio mother tries to make them call me their brother. But I encourage
    via u/Greggruzzee
  • 14
    them to keep saying uncle because that's what makes the most sense and it's not like they're unaware of the fact I am technically their half brother. That
    via u/Greggruzzee
  • 15
    is explained to them all the time by their parents. But uncle is what they say without any prompting. and I'm just trying to make sure
    via u/Greggruzzee
  • 16
    that doesn't change much. My bio mother hates it while her husband supports me in doing it. AITA?
    via u/Greggruzzee
  • 17
    Nervous-Tea-7074 • 20h ago NTA - bet if you questioned her on child support and back payments, it would be brother/uncle, no issues.
    via u/Nervous-Tea-7074
  • 18
    Brother and sister together
    via Kichigin / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    Number1storm • 20h ago Definitely NTA, She is just trying to assuage any guilt she might feel for her terrible choices.
    via u/Number1storm
  • 20
    • silentjudge ⚫ 20h ago ΝΤΑ. She doesn't get to keep changing who she is to you all the time, especially when
    via u/silentjudge
  • 21
    she was the one making a point that you wouldn't consider her your mother before.
    via u/silentjudge
  • 22
    MisterFrancesco • 19h ago Your mother is aiming for your grandparents' inheritance, thinking she's an only child.
    via u/MisterFrancesco
  • 23
    Clever_Boss 20h ago ΝΤΑ If uncle is more natural to them then they should be free to call you that if you're okay with it. Their bio
    via u/Clever_Boss
  • 24
    mother can't have herself not be called your mother and at the same time have them call you a brother. You're right, that doesn't make sense.
    via u/Clever_Boss

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family drama drama toxic brother mother siblings family feud relationships parenting lol love family reddit thread Reddit mom funny children dating
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